So This is Christmas...

As usual, this year's Christmas was hectic as hell as for Megan and me. It was once again filled with running from house to house, tearing through gifts, then skeedadling to our next stop. And as happy as I am for it to all be over, I was there was a way that we could have stretched it out a bit longer. By that I mean if the holiday was actually longer, we might actually be able to spend quality time with our families and friends and not feel like we always had to be somewhere else in 15 minutes.

That said, there were some pretty great Christmas moments this year. The best was cooking breakfast at our new house on Christmas Morning for some of our family. My brother and his girlfriend Lizzie came over bright and early and Lizzie, Megan, and I got down to business. Lizzie did most of the work, but together we whipped up biscuits, eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, sausage, and pancakes mad from scratch. My dad and his wife Brenda came over and we all had a nice family meal together. It was the first time Megan and I entertained at our house and it was pretty near perfect.

The runner-up for best Christmas moment was definitely getting to see Nate on Christmas. I hadn't seen him in about a year and it was nice to catch up a little. The coolness of this moment, however, was tarnished by us being at Clancy's East. Normally, this would have been fine, but it turned out that Clancy's was apparently be the bar to go to on Christmas and by our last round of drinks we were having to scream at each other just to be heard. I think that every senior from UNO was there and whichever one of them had money to throw into the jukebox was not only in love with cock rock, but had a hearing problem, because the got the bartender to crank the volume up to 12 on Rock and Roll All Nite and it never got turned back down. Merry Friggin' Christmas.

The worst part of Christmas? That was delivered on my doorstep by Apple on Christmas Eve-eve. I sent my iPod in for a tune-up and the sent me a replacement instead. Naturally, I was excited, but when I turned on my brand new iPod, I was greeted by a frowning iPod. Yeah, the freakin' thing doesn't even work! It was like a package had arrived from Santa, but when I opened it, instead of finding a present, I found a steaming turd.

Needless to say, I have spent the better part of the day online or on hold, trying to get the whole thing resolved. The best part is when I was told my iPod is no longer under warranty. This is sort of true, since my original warranty ran out on the 22nd. Thankfully, I bought an AppleCare extended warranty which is good until December 22 of 2006, but it makes me wonder if they sent me a defective iPod thinking that I would basically be stuck with a lemon with no way of returning it. Yay, Apple! Thanks for showing me you care. And to think, I used to consider you the good guys... Anyhow, I faxed them some stuff, which was a huge pain, but hopefully I'll be able to get a new iPod soon. We'll see, but if this keeps up, I might be going back to mixtapes. I mean, at least my Walkman never made a face at me.

Yippee-kay-yay... Merry Christmas

Hard to believe it's about a month since I last posted. I must be turning into Ben or something... Anyhow, the holidays are a busy time of year for Megan and I. This being our first Christmas in our new house together, things have been extra busy, with the two us not only running around to all of our assorted get-togethers, but with projects around the house as well. I love seeing everyone and everything, but I'll be glad when all of this is over and I can get back to some normalcy.

Anyhow, with Christmas just around the corner, I thought that I would make the case for the #1, must-see Christmas movie of all-time. That movie, my friends, is Die Hard.

Now, I know that some of you might find this hard to accept. You're saying, " Die Hard is a great movie, sure, but it isn't a Christmas movie." I beg to differ. I say that Die Hard is not only a Christmas movie, but the best kind of Christmas movie. The kind with explosions. Explosions and one-liners, that is.

For those of you who haven't seen Die Hard for a while, let me refresh your memories. The movie opens with our hero John McClane (Bruce Willis) flying into Los Angeles on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas with his estranged wife and kids. Now if you want to read into that a little bit, you could see a couple of correlations between McClane and a certain jolly old elf who flies around on Christmas Eve as well. The only major difference, really, is that Santa gives coal to bad little boys and ol' John gives them hot lead. Hot lead and one-liners, that is.

After arriving in LA, McClane takes a limo to his wife, Holly's office building, where he checks a list to find her office and ventures upstairs to join her office party. Again, feel free to draw your own conclusions, but I think that the parallels are pretty obvious. His wife's name is Holly and he's checking a list people! He even has to check it twice! After joining his wife on the 30th floor, John and Holly get into an argument. Holly leaves to give a speech and John is left alone with his thoughts. And that's when the German terrorists come in. I know it's almost cliche now, but back then having German terrorist invade your Christmas Party was pretty avant-garde. Turns out these guys aren't there for the free drinks, but for the $640,000,000 in negotiable bearer bonds that are in the safe. Everything starts out according to plan for these guys, but they didn't account for one thing: NYC Cop John McClane. NYC Cop John McClane and his endless supply of one-liners, that is.

Now, I won't bore you with a complete rehash of the movie, but remind you of the manner in which ol' John fights the terrorists and eventually saves the day. He sneaks around the building, mostly unseen and spends a good deal of time on the roof. Hell, in the film's most famous scene, he jumps from the top of the roof! Granted, there's an explosion behind him, and he doesn't go down the chimney, but I think you see where I'm coming from. At one point he even gives the terrorists a present. I know that it's just a dead terrorist, but sometimes you just gotta work with what you have. Not only that, but he sent him down the elevator, which is the closest thing to a chimney as they have in the building, and he even gift wrapped him with a little note reading: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho." If that isn't borderline copyright infringement on Old Saint Nick, I don't know what is.

In all seriousness, I do think that Die Hard is a great Christmas movie. You get all of the hallmarks of old-style Christmas movies, without any of the sappy sentimentality. It's got Christmas decor, Christmas music, and even rekindled love and redemption. Love, redemption, and one-liners, that is.

So, if you're sitting around wanting to watch a great Christmas movie, but It's A Wonderful Life, just isn't doing it for ya anymore, do what I'm going to do. Pour yourself a glass of eggnog, grab your loved one, pop in a copy of Die Hard, and bask in the glow of fiery rooftop explosions. You'll be glad you did.

Merry Christmas everyone, or more appropriately, "Yippee-kay-yay, motherfucker."