National Lampoon's (California) Vacation Part III

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 12 CONTINUED
I last left off with Megan and I spotting the Madonna Inn from the highway. Once we saw it, we both knew that we had to stay there. First off, it's a hotel built into the side of a mountain. Second, the exterior of the hotel looks like a plantation house designed by way of the Swiss Alps for an Old West cattle rancher. Third, the hotel contains has 109 totally unique rooms, the most famous (according to internet research I conducted after our stay there) of which are the Love Nest and the Caveman Room (which is often booked up a year in advance), but my personal favorite was by far the Cabin Still. And that's just the hotel! The Madonna Inn also has two restaurants (one with a 28-foot golden tree made of copper tubing and other metal leftovers from construction projects), a pastry shop, cocktail lounge, and a convention facility that holds 2,600 people. Finally, there's the 2,200-acres on which it sits that not only features a ranch complete with grazing horses but also the 1,292-foot Cerro San Luis, a mountain whose trails have long been popular with local hikers.

Now that I've begun describing it, I know that there is no way, however, to adequately describe it's lovable, awe-inspiring absurdity. Even Umberto Eco had a hard time in his book Travels in Hyperreality when he gave it a shot: "...the poor words with which natural human speech is provided, cannot suffice to describe the Madonna Inn... Let's say that Albert Speer, while leafing through a book on Gaudi, swallowed an overgenerous dose of LSD and began to build a nuptial catacomb for Liza Minnelli. But that doesn't give you an idea. Let's say ... Chopin's Sonata in B-flat sung by Perry Como in an arrangement by Liberace and accompanied by the Marine Band."

Bel Mooney, writer for London's Guardian newspaper had a similar take and wrote that the hotel "looks like Fred Flintstone got it together with Barbie one night, and - high on a cocktail of mead and pink champagne - scribbled crazy plans on the side of a rock."

Needless to say, the Madonna Inn is like nothing Megan and I had seen before. Knowing that we may not ever have the opportunity to do so again, we booked a room and stayed for the night. Here's what we saw:

Here's the Madonna Inn sign we spotted outside the hotel the night we checked in.

Here's what the Madonna Inn sign looks like in the light of day.

Here's a shot of the hotel itself, along with some grazing horses.

Here's the front desk, with a walkway that connects to the shops and restaurants.

Here's a shot of the interior of the Madonna Inn Steakhouse that we took the morning we left. Note the tasteful and um, understated use of pink. Yeah, that's it tasteful and understated. Anyhow, the use of pink is so prevalent at the Madonna Inn, you'd think they owned stock in the color.

Here's a portion of the Madonna Inn Hotel and Cerro San Luis, the mountain that it's built into.

Here's the staircase leading up to the room where Megan and I stayed.

Here's the view from the parking lot outside our room.

Here's the inside of our room, named Currier and Ives.

Here's a closeup shot of the gold lamé wallpaper and the ridiculous light fixtures in the room.

Here's a shot of the opposite wall of our room. The wall is made or real stone. Note the sparkles in the ceiling as well. And is it just me, but does that flatscreen TV on the left, although welcome, look totally out of place?

Here's the bathroom in our room, which doesn't really come close to capturing it's rococo meets colonial insanity. Note the prints on the wall, which are reproductions of those created by the room's namesakes, 19th Century printmakers Currier and Ives.

Even the ice bucket and wrappers for the glasses are gold and pink!

Here's our room key, stationery, and pen. Note the multiple shades of pink, most of which don't really go together.

Aside from the Madonna Inn, the town of San Luis Obispo also seemed to have a lot offer. Megan and went and strolled around the downtown area which reminded us both of Mass Street in Lawrence quite a bit. Which is probably due to the influence of nearby Cal Poly. After dinner, and a long day spent mostly in the car, we finally made our way back to our bed at the Madonna Inn for some much needed sleep. The next day, however, would mean even more driving as we continued on to the end of our journey North in San Simian.