With A Little Help From My Friends

So, I've been getting a lot of "Why you no post no more" from my peeps. The answer? I've been busy. I've been busy doing man stuff. Even when I'm supposed to be chill-laxing like on Memorial Day Weekend, I've been doing some serious labor intensive work. Memorial Day Weekend kicked off with moving retaining wall blocks for Mike at his place and moved to getting Boyd started on his retaining wall at his place, before finally getting down to the festivities at Katie's parents (which was a great time, so thanks Katie and Josh). And it didn't end there. On Memorial day itself, I helped Jesse hang drywall in his attic. Seriously, at the end of the extended weekend I was ready to re-name Memorial Day Labor Day, which would probably be a little confusing since there already is a Labor Day, but you get my drift.

And before you start thinking what a conscientious guy I am helping out my friends, I must admit I had ulterior motives. You see, I too had a project in mind. A project so big, that I was going to need all the help I could get. And if that meant calling in any and all favors, so be it.

So what was the big project I had in mind? Well, much like the current proposal to build a wall along the Mexican Border, I was also looking to build a wall to increase my homeland security. And by "home," I mean my home and by "land security," I mean the land around my house was was going to collapse into my driveway if something wasn't done ASAP. So, on Friday, June 1, Project: Retaining Wall went into action. And after multiple days spent working sun up to sun down and taking days off work for what has probably become my worst vacation ever, the wall is essentially done. All that's left is some cleaning up and re-planting and it will be the second greatest wall ever created by man. I say second, because that wall the built in China, didn't get the name "Great" for nothing.

Anyhow, we took some pictures that you might enjoy. But before we get to the pictures, I'd like to thank everyone that helped out. Mom, dad, Matt, Jesse, and Max: you guys are lifesavers. Maybe you didn't help move heaven and earth, but you certainly helped move a lot of earth. An extra big thanks goes to Mike and especially Boyd. You guys brought your knowledge and work ethic to this project without which I never could have even gotten started. Well, maybe I could have gotten started, but I certainly wouldn't have finished, and it wouldn't look near as nice. In fact I'd go as far as saying it would look pretty FUBARed. You guys really went above and beyond, sticking around when it was just the three of us, and in the case of Boyd, when it was just the two of us. I owe all of you big time, so when any of you need a hand, don't hesitate to call. Anyhow, on to the pictures!

Now, don't get excited. These are just a couple shots of the old, collapsing retaining wall. I know it doesn't look that bad in the pictures, what with the flowers and all, but trust me, it was rotting out and it looked shitty in real life.

Here's the crew on day 3 of Operation: Retaining Wall. Boyd is making like Hannibal laying out a new plan for the A-Team. I think he even later said "I love it when a plan comes together."

Here's Mike doing more digging. Not only did Mike put in a lot of work, but he brought everyone free tickets to the gun show. Anyone know a good vet? 'Cause those puppies are sick!

Here's Max playing a fun little game we like to call "Dig a trench without hitting the gas line!" Worst. Game. Ever. And we all know how much Max likes games...

Here I am driving the Mitey Mac. "She ain't much to look at, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

Here I am measuring to make some cuts to the blocks. "Measure twice, cut three times." That's my motto, which I think may need some work...


Here I am using a concrete saw to cut the retaining wall caps. I always thought that the License To Ill-era Beasties' line "And I Can't pay attention 'cause I'm on that dust," was a drug reference. Now, I know that they were talking about construction. That thing sucked. Pray you never have to use one.


Here I am putting the finishing touches on the wall, which brings us to...

Ta Dah! Or more appropriately, Ta-Dow! The second greatest wall ever built by man. Seriously, you'd think it was by all the people that have come by to check it out. I've met more people from my neighborhood since I started this thing than I have the entire two years we've been living in our house. And if someone's putting in one of these bad boys in your neighborhood, please refrain from giving any advice unless you're willing to help. It comes off as condescending and you might just end up getting a lifter.

That's all for now, folks. I'm going to go back to my real job just to relax. Hopefully, in the next couple of days I'll be once again able to lift my left arm up over my head, move my right wrist, and have the swelling on my left hand go down enough so I can wear my wedding ring again. So, if you see me out and about moving rather awkwardly and not wearing my wedding ring, it's not because my wife beats me, it's because of my retaining wall. However, if I have a black eye, it's probably because of that last joke...