Yippee-kay-yay... Merry Christmas

Hard to believe it's about a month since I last posted. I must be turning into Ben or something... Anyhow, the holidays are a busy time of year for Megan and I. This being our first Christmas in our new house together, things have been extra busy, with the two us not only running around to all of our assorted get-togethers, but with projects around the house as well. I love seeing everyone and everything, but I'll be glad when all of this is over and I can get back to some normalcy.

Anyhow, with Christmas just around the corner, I thought that I would make the case for the #1, must-see Christmas movie of all-time. That movie, my friends, is Die Hard.

Now, I know that some of you might find this hard to accept. You're saying, " Die Hard is a great movie, sure, but it isn't a Christmas movie." I beg to differ. I say that Die Hard is not only a Christmas movie, but the best kind of Christmas movie. The kind with explosions. Explosions and one-liners, that is.

For those of you who haven't seen Die Hard for a while, let me refresh your memories. The movie opens with our hero John McClane (Bruce Willis) flying into Los Angeles on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas with his estranged wife and kids. Now if you want to read into that a little bit, you could see a couple of correlations between McClane and a certain jolly old elf who flies around on Christmas Eve as well. The only major difference, really, is that Santa gives coal to bad little boys and ol' John gives them hot lead. Hot lead and one-liners, that is.

After arriving in LA, McClane takes a limo to his wife, Holly's office building, where he checks a list to find her office and ventures upstairs to join her office party. Again, feel free to draw your own conclusions, but I think that the parallels are pretty obvious. His wife's name is Holly and he's checking a list people! He even has to check it twice! After joining his wife on the 30th floor, John and Holly get into an argument. Holly leaves to give a speech and John is left alone with his thoughts. And that's when the German terrorists come in. I know it's almost cliche now, but back then having German terrorist invade your Christmas Party was pretty avant-garde. Turns out these guys aren't there for the free drinks, but for the $640,000,000 in negotiable bearer bonds that are in the safe. Everything starts out according to plan for these guys, but they didn't account for one thing: NYC Cop John McClane. NYC Cop John McClane and his endless supply of one-liners, that is.

Now, I won't bore you with a complete rehash of the movie, but remind you of the manner in which ol' John fights the terrorists and eventually saves the day. He sneaks around the building, mostly unseen and spends a good deal of time on the roof. Hell, in the film's most famous scene, he jumps from the top of the roof! Granted, there's an explosion behind him, and he doesn't go down the chimney, but I think you see where I'm coming from. At one point he even gives the terrorists a present. I know that it's just a dead terrorist, but sometimes you just gotta work with what you have. Not only that, but he sent him down the elevator, which is the closest thing to a chimney as they have in the building, and he even gift wrapped him with a little note reading: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho." If that isn't borderline copyright infringement on Old Saint Nick, I don't know what is.

In all seriousness, I do think that Die Hard is a great Christmas movie. You get all of the hallmarks of old-style Christmas movies, without any of the sappy sentimentality. It's got Christmas decor, Christmas music, and even rekindled love and redemption. Love, redemption, and one-liners, that is.

So, if you're sitting around wanting to watch a great Christmas movie, but It's A Wonderful Life, just isn't doing it for ya anymore, do what I'm going to do. Pour yourself a glass of eggnog, grab your loved one, pop in a copy of Die Hard, and bask in the glow of fiery rooftop explosions. You'll be glad you did.

Merry Christmas everyone, or more appropriately, "Yippee-kay-yay, motherfucker."