How Gay Is That?

Question:
What do you call a man wearing a pink shirt walking two poodles?

Answer:
Me

In an effort to rejuvenate our yard, Megan and I have been taking our dogs on regular walks rather that just let them out back to do their "business." Generally, I take them on a walk by myself when I get home from work. On Tuesday, I got home and didn't even change out of my work attire before taking the around the block. Normally, I don't really think about how I look to other people, but for some reason it occurred after passing by several people in the street that not only was I walking two pretty sissy looking dogs, but I was wearing a pastel pink polo. Take away either the polo or the poodles, and I look straight. Add them both together and I look, as Boyd would put it, "Gay, gay, gay gay gay."

Oh, well. It's not that I care or anything, I just think it's funny how appearances can be deceiving. That and the fact that, at the time, I was probably the gayest looking straight man since Lyle, the Effeminate Heterosexual.

An Excercise In Futility

So, I suppose if you're like me, you've been getting e-mails with messages similar to this:

Subject: FW: Don't pump gas May 15th 2007

NO GAS...On May 15th 2007

Don't pump gas on may 15th

In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.

On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up.

If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and let's try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

If you agree (which I can't see why you wouldn't) resend this to all your contact list. With it saying, "Don't pump gas on May 15th"

In the immortal words of Public Enemy "Don't Believe The Hype." Why? IT WON'T WORK.

Let me explain, in somewhat of a metaphor. Remember how President Bush said in his State of the Union speech back on February 1, 2006 that "America is addicted to oil?" Well, let's take that one step further and imagine yourself as a drug addict. You're addicted to crack and every couple of days or so, whenever you can scrape together enough money, you buy crack from the same dealer. One day, you decide you've had enough with paying so much for an ounce of crack. So, you tell your dealer that unless he lowers his prices, you're going to quit smoking crack. But you're not going to quit smoking crack altogether, just for one day. ONE DAY. Do you really think the dealer would even consider cutting you a break on your crack? Hell, no. Because you'll be back the next day and he'll get his money then. And even if you're not back the next day, he knows that you'll be back some day real soon. Why? Because you're addicted.

So, let's be honest with ourselves and realize that gas prices are never going to go back down. Sure, they may dip back below $3.00 again, but eventually it's going to climb even higher. If you really want to spend less money on gas and for our country to stop getting involved in wars in the Middle East, then you can get Congress to push for higher C.A.F.E. standards so the vehicles made and sold here get better miles per gallon. That way, gas prices may not go down, but at least we'll be paying less, because we'll be using less.