Politics As Usual

Let me begin by saying that I pretty much hate politicians. I do. There are some exceptions to be sure, but for the most part I see them as wealthy white guys who are out of touch and who sell their votes to the highest bidder. I am sick and tired of having to decide between the lesser of two evils, because no matter how much less evil someone is, he or she is still evil. I truly believe that having only two political parties in this country only exacerbates the situation.

That said, right now one of the political parties is appearing more and more evil. Maybe evil isn't the right word, but they sure as hell are looking more corrupt. I'm talking about The Republican Party. Now, I could go on and on about errors in judgment and incompetence on the part of the current administration, but those could be construed as opinion. No, I'm talking about legitimate criminal misconduct.

Let's go down the list, shall we? First on the list is David Safavian. Now, he's not a big name politician, but he was appointed by the Bush White House as head of procurement for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Pretty big job. Well, he resigned September 16, because he was going to be arrested for repeatedly lying to investigators about a case involving a Republican lobbyist named Jack Abramoff. That investigation, by the way, involves Abramoff sponsoring illegal golf trips for Republican officials to Scotland.

Next up we have Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. Frist apparently owned shares in Columbia/HCA. HCA is a huge for-profit hospital chain that was started by his father and older brother. Frist sold his shares about 2 weeks before a bad earnings report was issued that would have cost him anywhere from $2 million - $6 million. Now, Frist claims that he sold his shares because wanted to remove even the appearance of a conflict of interest. That's funny, since he didn't seem to mind when he helped block Clinton's Patient's Bill of Rights in 1999 or when he was in charge of putting together the Medicare Bill in 2003. But then his stock wasn't trading for more than $50 a share then either. If any of this sounds fishy to you, well you aren't the only one, since Frist is now under investigation by the Justice Department and the SEC. Oh, and he's looking at running for president in 2008. Hooray!

I wish that was all I had, but I'm going to keep going. This time we're going to the White House and we're taking a look at top presidential adviser Karl Rove and I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, the Vice President's Chief of Staff. These two are also under investigation by the Justice Department. Why, you ask? Well, nothing short of treason. Some people would disagree with that assessment, and to be fair the whole thing is very convoluted. Essentially, they are both under investigation for leaking the name of an undercover CIA operative, Valerie Wilson, in retaliation for her husband, Ambassador Joseph Wilson, writing an op-ed column in the New York Times which stated that some of the evidence used to make the case for war with Iraq was exaggerated. So, why do I consider that treasonous? Well, besides the obvious reason that outing our undercover agents could easily fall under that definition, it's also because our first President Bush called it treason. In a speech at the dedication ceremony for the George Bush Center for Intelligence in April of '99 he said: "Even though I'm a tranquil guy now at this stage of my life, I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious, of traitors." Obviously, I agree with him, but apparently his son doesn't, since Rove and Libby are still working in the White House.

Last on my list is a favorite of mine. And by favorite, by the way, I mean the most corrupt. Who receives this dubious honor? Why it's none other than House Majority Leader Tom Delay.Yeah, yeah, yeah...he was indicted on charges of conspiracy and money laundering, but that's not what makes the guy so despicable. No, he wins because of his incomparable hypocrisy. This guy has fought to keep forced labor factories open in Saipan. Saipan is the capital of the U.S. territory of the Northern Mariana Islands. Factories can make goods there and throw on the good old "Made In The USA" label. Apparently, they can also turn their workers into slaves and prostitutes and even force them to have abortions. That's right, Delay, friend of the Religious Right, who recently spoke to thousands of evangelical Christians in August, supports forced abortions. I guess that's not that out of character, though, since they didn't have a choice.

When Delay visited the islands on a trip sponsored by our friend Jack Abramoff, he had this to say: "You are a shining light for what is happening to the Republican Party, and you represent everything that is good about what we are trying to do in America and leading the world in the free-market system."

And you wonder why I'm pissed.

Honestly, I'm pissed because there's no opposition party. The Democrats, you say? Please. Sure, right now, I'm longing for the days when the worst scandal to come out of Washington involved a blowjob from an intern, but the Democrats are a bunch of spineless wimps. They've known about this stuff and done absolutely nothing about it. They've been too scared to even bring ethics charges against Delay. And with all this scandal surrounding the Republican Party, you'd think that they would have some grounds for a consistent message of maybe why they're better than their Republican counterparts. Nope. All they can do is talk about how much Bush sucks. We know that already! How about telling us how you're any better? They can't, and that is why I'm probably voting Republican in the next presidential election.

Surprised? That makes two of us. But remember how I said that I pretty much hate politicians? Well, there's a couple out there that I respect, and more importantly, trust. If either John McCain or Chuck Hagel run, they've got my vote. These guys have criticized the war in Iraq, investigated corruption, and introduced campaign finance reform. Each of these actions took a lot of guts and proved to me that they care about what's right, not about what's best for their party. If either of these guys become president, things should really shape up.

Wishful thinking? Maybe. After all, didn't Bush promise to bring "integrity back to the office?" Whoops. Knowing my luck, it'll be Frist running against Gore in 2008. And I'll waste my vote in my quixotic quest to ratify a third party... again.

Sigh.

And they wonder why nobody ever freakin' votes...