Turkey Daze
This Thanksgiving I had a lot to be thankful for. I was thankful for my wife, my new house, and even my job. But mostly I was thankful that Megan and I only had 2 Thanksgivings...
...and 1 Christmas... with Thanksgiving food. Which I guess, technically makes it Thanksmas, but since that's not an official holiday yet, my mom called it Christmas. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if becomes one someday soon, with Christmas seeming to start earlier and earlier every year. I mean, our neighbors across the street had their tree and lights up 2 weeks before Thanksgiving! Why do people want to skip Thanksgiving so bad? It's a great freakin' holiday. You get to pig out, hang out with the fam, and you don't even have to buy anybody any gifts! It's great!
The only drawback to Thanksgiving is if you are required to have multiple Thanksgivings. Now, generally when I think of something with the modifier "multiple" in front of it, I think of good things. Like, say, multiple orgasms. But trust me, multiple Thanksgivings is really something muliple you don't want to have. Like, say, multiple sclerosis. Okay, it's probably not that bad, but its bad.
First of all there's hassle of not being in control of your own schedule. You are now on somebody's else's time. If you're ready to eat at 11:00, too bad. You're waiting until noon. That's fine and all, but you get no say in it. Plus its great to see the family and hang out and all that, but it's all day. This would be fine if you only had to do it once, but three times in one weekend, and there goes your weekend. So much for seeing Walk The Line...
Second, there's the food. Again, don't get me wrong, I love turkey, dressing/stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green casserole, rolls, and pie as much as the next guy. Probably even more so, but after three days of this and you're done. Plus, it is impossible not to overeat. Back in the days when my parents were together I would maybe have 2 Thanksgivings and they would be on different weekends. I would stuff my face. You know, make yourself a plate, go back for seconds, maybe thirds. Then a couple of hours later, after a food induced coma, I would maybe have some pie. Yes, I was a huge fatass back then and maybe eating like I did on Thanksgiving contributed to that, but it wasn't just us fatasses eating like this. Almost everyone I knew ate like this at Thanksgiving. Now, I try to eat way less at each Thanksgiving meal. This started because I knew I might have to go to another one in a couple of hours and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Have you ever been to Thanksgiving dinner and tried not to eat? Doesn't work. They will tie you down and force-feed you if they have to. I think it's a law, something to do with Thanksgiving being a federal holiday or something.
And my last gripe is simultaneously wanting to spend more time with relatives you barely see and wanting to go home because you're on sensory overload. I felt bad on Saturday especially, because by then I had had it with family and I could think of nowhere else I'd rather be than at home eating pizza. Or any food that didn't involve turkey, dressing/stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green casserole, rolls, or pie. Well, I guess pie would be okay.
So, here's my advice: if your parents are divorced and remarried, think twice about marrying someone who's parents are divorced and remarried. Unless you really like Thanksgiving, that is.
honestly, I'm looking forward to a day when I only have one Thanksgiving to worry about, and that's the one Megan and I have at our house. Unfortunately, probably at least 20-30 Thanksgivings away. And that's not counting any Thanksmases, either...
...and 1 Christmas... with Thanksgiving food. Which I guess, technically makes it Thanksmas, but since that's not an official holiday yet, my mom called it Christmas. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if becomes one someday soon, with Christmas seeming to start earlier and earlier every year. I mean, our neighbors across the street had their tree and lights up 2 weeks before Thanksgiving! Why do people want to skip Thanksgiving so bad? It's a great freakin' holiday. You get to pig out, hang out with the fam, and you don't even have to buy anybody any gifts! It's great!
The only drawback to Thanksgiving is if you are required to have multiple Thanksgivings. Now, generally when I think of something with the modifier "multiple" in front of it, I think of good things. Like, say, multiple orgasms. But trust me, multiple Thanksgivings is really something muliple you don't want to have. Like, say, multiple sclerosis. Okay, it's probably not that bad, but its bad.
First of all there's hassle of not being in control of your own schedule. You are now on somebody's else's time. If you're ready to eat at 11:00, too bad. You're waiting until noon. That's fine and all, but you get no say in it. Plus its great to see the family and hang out and all that, but it's all day. This would be fine if you only had to do it once, but three times in one weekend, and there goes your weekend. So much for seeing Walk The Line...
Second, there's the food. Again, don't get me wrong, I love turkey, dressing/stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green casserole, rolls, and pie as much as the next guy. Probably even more so, but after three days of this and you're done. Plus, it is impossible not to overeat. Back in the days when my parents were together I would maybe have 2 Thanksgivings and they would be on different weekends. I would stuff my face. You know, make yourself a plate, go back for seconds, maybe thirds. Then a couple of hours later, after a food induced coma, I would maybe have some pie. Yes, I was a huge fatass back then and maybe eating like I did on Thanksgiving contributed to that, but it wasn't just us fatasses eating like this. Almost everyone I knew ate like this at Thanksgiving. Now, I try to eat way less at each Thanksgiving meal. This started because I knew I might have to go to another one in a couple of hours and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Have you ever been to Thanksgiving dinner and tried not to eat? Doesn't work. They will tie you down and force-feed you if they have to. I think it's a law, something to do with Thanksgiving being a federal holiday or something.
And my last gripe is simultaneously wanting to spend more time with relatives you barely see and wanting to go home because you're on sensory overload. I felt bad on Saturday especially, because by then I had had it with family and I could think of nowhere else I'd rather be than at home eating pizza. Or any food that didn't involve turkey, dressing/stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green casserole, rolls, or pie. Well, I guess pie would be okay.
So, here's my advice: if your parents are divorced and remarried, think twice about marrying someone who's parents are divorced and remarried. Unless you really like Thanksgiving, that is.
honestly, I'm looking forward to a day when I only have one Thanksgiving to worry about, and that's the one Megan and I have at our house. Unfortunately, probably at least 20-30 Thanksgivings away. And that's not counting any Thanksmases, either...
posted by Christian at 11:08 PM
2 Comments:
Try spending a day cooking a bountiful turkey dinner with all the sides... you'd be tying people down to eat it too, damn it!
You can have Thanksgiving at your house, just invite the family. We have been waiting to see that new house.
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