Introducing The McSchwiegers

The last event in the Thom Theme Park/Wedding Tour (or TTPWT for short) was Katie and Josh's wedding. I'm sure that a lot of people would think that after our trip down South, Megan and I would want nothing more than to stay at home and relax. Normally, that would probably be true, but in this case, it couldn't be farther from the truth. In fact we were both looking forward to this wedding quite a bit.

The reasons we were both so excited are legion, so in the interest of me actually trying to keep this post shorter than a small novel, I'll just focus on the major ones. The first is that it was almost guaranteed to be a good time. So many of our close friends that we have back here in Omaha were going to be there that it would be nearly impossible not to have fun. Second, we've been looking forward to this wedding for a loooooooooooong time. Seriously, it was a long time coming. Take it from someone who dated the same girl off and on from 1995 to 2002 before finally getting hitched. I have a special affinity for these two, as they were the only couple that I knew that dated longer before getting married (for which they'll also always have my gratitude, since they took some of the heat off). I know it sounds like I'm giving them shit here, and maybe I am just a little bit, but I also know from experience that everything has it's time and place. I know that Megan and I could not have gotten married any sooner. We just weren't ready. Knowing that, and seeing that Katie and Josh are actually married now, I should probably stop teasing them about it, but I just couldn't help one last dig. Which brings us to the final reason we were looking forward to the wedding, which quite simply, is that it was Katie and Josh. I mean, who wouldn't be excited to see them get married? Yeah, yeah, people who don't actually know them, sure, but people that do know them? I'd be willing to bet that there aren't any out there (and if there are, let me know and I'll go straighten the out). Katie and Josh have become two of my favorite people, and like all of Megan's former high school friends and their partners that I have gotten to know better since getting married, I am extremely grateful for their friendship. I couldn't have been happier to see them tie the knot.

Anyhow, not only did we get invited to the wedding, Megan and I both were asked to take part in it. Megan was asked to be a bridesmaid and I got be an usher. I was, of course, honored, but was a little disappointed when I found out that being an usher had nothing to with Usher, as I had originally thought. I had already bought some new shades and was working on my rendition of "My Boo," when I found out that I would simply be escorting people to their seats. Which ended up being sort of blessing in disguise, since I hadn't yet found anyone to sing the Alicia Keys' part of the song. And at least I would get to wear a tux and hopefully not make an ass out of myself like I had the previous week. You see, being an usher meant that I could still look dapper and just hang back and not have to worry about how to enter the sanctuary, because I would be one of the first ones in there.

Being part of the wedding party had other benefits as well. Top of the list? Good food. The rehearsal dinner was at Lo Sole Mio, the best Italian joint in town, if not one of the best restaurants in town period. Dinner was a raucous affair, full of a bit of roasting of the couple as well as a couple of very moving toasts and a video slideshow that was head and shoulders above mine and Megan's. The only awkward moment (for me at least) was when I got carded at the bar. The bartender didn't think I matched the picture on my ID and I spent several minutes convincing her it was me. I even had to take off my glasses, show her my wedding band, and tell her that I had been married for almost 5 years before she would serve me. I had more trouble getting a drink than I had getting in and out of the country on our honeymoon! Anyhow, the food was delicious and the evening was great.

But the great food and didn't stop there. The next morning I met the rest of the guys in the wedding party at the Market Basket for breakfast. Having never been to the Market Basket, and not being a huge french toast fan, I took a gamble and ordered the Normandy Toast, which turned out to be the best french toast I ever had in my life. It was almost worth the wait. I say almost because our entire party ordered their food by 10:30 and it didn't start showing up at our table until 11:45. Since we were supposed to be at the church no later than 12:30 for pictures, and none of us came dressed in our tuxes, we were not pleased. A couple of guys had to cancel their orders and take off and I thought Mike Thomsen was going to hurt somebody when his order showed up and was not what he was expecting to say the least. I thought Josh was going have a heart attack. I ate my food in record time, which severely diminished my ability to enjoy it and I left vowing never to return to the Market Basket. To be fair, they've now earned a reprieve as they sent Josh a $100 gift certificate to make it right. And thanks in large part to some GTA-style driving by ace driver Jeff Cowman we were able to arrive at the church before too late and had more than enough time for pictures. My only concern was that this was not a precursor for the rest of the day.

My concerns proved to be unfounded as the wedding went off without a hitch. I was particularly impressed by how none of the groomsmen looked lost, as they were able to escort the bridesmaids down the aisle and didn't have to enter from a side door. Good plan. Katie was one of the most radiant brides I have ever seen. The bridesmaids, for their part, were all beautiful as well, especially Megan Thom. After taking one look at her, let me tell you, I knew which bridesmaid I'd be sleeping with! (Hey now! Before you get any ideas, she's a married woman! Besides we were sharing a room downtown with another couple, so get your minds out of the gutter.) And as far as ushering goes, my fellow ushers and I kicked it's ass. Let me tell you, we ushered like no one has ushered before. So, if you're thinking about having me in your wedding, I make a better usher than a groomsman. That is, unless I'm the Best Man. Just ask Zach or Max. Better yet, just ask Max. Better yet, I make a better usher...

The rest of the night is a blur. There were limo rides, more pictures, champaign, food, dancing, and post-reception drinking. Everyone I know had a great time. Plus, I got to sleep with a bridesmaid! How much better can you get? It was truly a wonderful way to end our wedding escapades which were beginning to make us feel a bit like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. We both wish Katie and Josh all the best and look forward to our next round of weddings next year. In the meantime, Megan and I will be taking a break from the wedding circuit. Until then I guess I'll have to post about other stuff. Maybe Megan and I should take another vacation...