Seriously, Where Was I? Part III

Ever since our trip to Magic Mountain, Megan and I have been talking about DisneyWorld. Megan couldn't believe that I had actually been to DisneyWorld, but only went to EPCOT. In my defense, EPCOT remained my favorite part of DisneyWorld after this trip, and as I kept telling her, I had already been to Disneyland. Since Megan is somewhat of a DisneyWorld snob, she would inform that even though DisneyWorld's Magic Kingdom was essentially the same as Disneyland (minus the Matterhorn Bobsleds, which as I see it, puts Disneyland up one fairly notable ride), DisneyWorld is better because it's newer and Disneyland "is dirtier." Besides, she added, did I ever even ride the Matterhorn, or Space Mountain? I thought that her criticisms of Disneyland being inferior and dirtier were a bit unfair since she had never been there, nor ridden the Matterhorn herself, and that Disneyland was still the number 2 theme park in the world. Besides, since Disneyland came before DisneyWorld, it had more history. But I had to concede that Megan did have a point, I had never ridden the world famous rides created for the Disney theme parks (heck, I was too afraid to even get my picture taken with Donald Duck) and DisneyWorld seemed as good a place as any to rectify that (Minus the Matterhorn Bobsleds, of course).

DisneyWorld is a crazy place. It's simultaneously symbolizes the best and worst that the culture of our country has to offer. By that I mean, it's easy to see why people hold it in such disdain with it's overblown merchandising, corporate sponsorships, overwhelming happiness, and forced unreality. However, if you're able to check your cynicism at the gate, it can truly be a magical place. In other words, if you enter DisneyWorld wanting to hate it, it's easy to do so; on the other hand, if you walk in with an open mind, you will find it just as easy to be swept up in it's wonder. For me it was impossible to not be charmed by the vision of what Disney set out to accomplish, especially while seeing kids from all around world smiling with wide-eyed glee. In fact, I know that I probably had the same look on my face for most of the time I was there (which probably let some people at least to think I was mentally challenged).

Our first day at DisneyWorld was a long one spent entirely at EPCOT. EPCOT stands for "Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow", which by the way, is a terrible acronym. I mean, what sort of community consists of theme park rides? Sure they grow their own food there (in research facility co-sponsored by NASA, which you can tour on the Living With The Land ride), but how would their economy work? And what about schools? I certainly didn't see a "Magic of Mathematics" ride or a "English Equals Excitement" ride. To be fair, I guess the original vision Uncle Walt had for EPCOT changed after his death, but maybe they should have changed the name as well. Whatever the case, we got there at 9:00 AM and didn't leave until after the IllumiNations fireworks/multi-media display at 9:00 PM. It made for a long day, but it was a good one. After the non-stop thrill rides of Islands of Adventure the day before, the rides at EPCOT were almost downright relaxing in comparison. However, thrill rides aren't exactly Disney's forte, and EPCOT is intended to be more along the lines of edutainment than excitement. That said, they do have a ride that's may have killed at least 2 people, called Mission: Space.

Mission: Space is a pretty cool ride. The fact the people may have died because of it, made me more than a little nervous, though before I rode it. Essentially, it's a simulator that has centrifuge design that spins you around to simulate g-force, while the screen makes it seem like you're flying rather that simply spinning around in a circle. I had a blast, but was glad that Megan chose to ride the newer, less intense version. Since that ride almost made her sick, I don't want to think about how she would of felt on the version I rode.

Despite the fun we had riding rides like Mission: Space and Test Track (basically a glorified GM commercial that simulates the testing done on cars. Still fun, though.), I think that I enjoyed the animatronic track rides the best. These rides take riders through what are essentially moving dioramas featuring animatronics. Some might find them kitschy or even downright cheesy, but to me they exist in their own category: disney. It's definitely hard to explain, because they are kind of kitschy and cheesy, but they're so well done, that it's hard not to celebrate their fakiness (I think I just made up a word there, but it fits). My favorite of these has to be Spaceship Earth, which resides in the giant golf-ball looking structure most people associate with EPCOT. The rides takes you through the history of communication, from cave painting, to hieroglyphics, to the Roman Empire, up through the printing press, to telecommunications and the internet. All in animatronic glory. What I love most about the ride is it's retro-futuristic design. I love seeing things that give you an idea of what the people of the past thought that future would look like. For instance, I'm sure that the people who designed the geodesic sphere that houses the ride thought it was futuristic, when to everyone today it just looks like a golf ball.

My other favorite track ride was Malestrom. This ride is housed in the Norway pavilion in the World Showcase area of the park. I liked it because the set designs and animatronics were the coolest our time at the Disney parks. Plus you've got to give props to a ride that combines the mythological past of a country, with it's actual current day incarnations, even if, as was the case of this ride, it didn't really seem to make much sense. In fact, I think the kids who rode it were especially confused by trying to figure out what exactly trolls and vikings had to do with off shore oil drilling. I'm not quite sure about how that works either, but for some reason the rides incongruities made me love it even more. I mean, where else but at DisneyWorld would you find something like this?

Speaking of the World Showcase, in my mind, it's definitely the highlight of EPCOT. The world showcase is modeled after World's Fairs of times past with different countries represented in their own pavilions. The Showcase features Mexico, Norway, China, Germany, Italy, United States of America, Japan, Morocco, France, the United Kingdom, and Canada. Truly a strange selection of countries to be sure. I mean, most of them I understand, but Norway and Morocco? I guess it came down to who could pony up the cash to sponsor the pavilions, but they definitely seem a little out of place. At any rate, each pavilion is designed really well, with architecture and flourishes that are really quite effective capturing the flavor of the countries they represent. They even employ people for the pavilions from the actual countries, with the acrobats from China definitely those most worth mentioning. You can tell a lot of thought and planning went into the World Showcase. The best example of this being that you can actually see the Disney/MGM Studios ride The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror from Morocco, but it's designed so that it looks like it belongs in the Moroccan skyline.

Aside from the nifty architecture and ambiance, what makes the World Showcase so great, is that it clearly has adults in mind. Megan and I were there during a month long wine tasting event and there were food and drinks from all around the world. I was definitely pleased with being able to buy a 24 oz glass of Stella in the UK pavilion. I also enjoyed the Kringla Bakeri og Kafe in Norway where Megan and I shared a pastry and chocolate mousse. The shops are also cool, especially with shops in the UK and Germany loaded with soccer jerseys and t-shirts. I was especially impressed with the Germany shops, as they had an overabundance of Adidas apparel, including a t-shirt too cool for yours truly to pass up. In fact, the only disappointment came when we had dinner in Morocco at Resturant Marrakesh.

To be fair the food at Resturant Marrakesh wasn't all bad. The soup, rice, and dessert were all delicious (all of which made me miss a now closed Omaha restaurant Afghani Kabob, even more). But the main entree of the sort-of-sampler platters we ordered was pretty lackluster. The chicken was alright, but the lamb bordered on inedible. It was definitely filling, but the price coupled with the fact that it suffered by comparison to the tasty lunch we had earlier in the day at Sunshine Seasons food court in The Land section of the park, left us less than satisfied. That said, it was better than a hot dog and a pretzel, and It was a place that Megan had always wanted to go, so we were able to cross it of the list. However, if we ever go back, I'll want to grab a bite in France, or at least Mexico or China. If there's one thing it's hard to screw up, it's tacos and sesame chicken.

Megan and I kicked around the World Showcase for the better part of the night, waiting for the IllumiNations to bring our day to a close. At one point, however, Megan was getting cold so I offered to trek back to the car to retrieve a jacket for her. I left her seated at an outdoor cafe, and told her not to move and I would be back in about an hour. We were parked pretty close, but I would probably have to walk a couple of miles all told from where we were, out the gate and back. Plus I wanted to see if I could squeeze in one more ride of Mission: Space. After riding Mission: Space again, I made my way to the gate. I asked the guy manning the gate what I needed to get back in, I was thinking a stamp on the hand would do. I was informed that all I needed was my ticket. Unfortunately, Megan had our tickets, so I had to trek all the back to Megan sans coat. I can't put it into words the look of relief on Megan's face when I got back. Minutes after I left, Megan realized that she had both of the tickets, and had been worried that I had left EPCOT without realizing I couldn't get back in. She had spent the last hour or so imagining me standing outside EPCOT throwing my hands up and down shouting "Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" Now, that may not be very, Disney-like behavior, but it's probably spot on, and it's not like I haven't done anything like that before. But, luckily for us, I actually asked someone before leaving the park.

Anyhow, it turned out to be a pleasant evening and Megan made it without a coat. We watched the IllumiNations display while Megan sipped a fruit smoothie and I sipped a mango margarita. It was nice, although I found the display a little disappointing. Still, it was a nice way to end the day, snuggled up with the missus and watching the fireworks light up her smiling face. It would have been even better, and downright romantic, if we weren't surrounded by bratty kids from Jersey and their jackass parents. But, like I said, DisneyWorld encapsulates everything that's good and bad about our culture, and the end of our day at IllumiNations was the perfect example of this.

We made our way back to the condo immediately after IllumiNations. We were beat. With all of the walking required in general, and my near mishap with leaving the park in particular, it's easy to see why some people say EPCOT stands for "Everybody Comes Out Tired." We went to bed exhausted and had no problems falling asleep, even though I could barely contain my excitement for the next day's journey to the Magic Kingdom...