Wedding Bells and Southern Bells

Weddings are a tricky thing to write about. You talk about how beautiful and moving they are and you end up sounding trite. If you talk about what you yourself did at the wedding and you sound like a self-absorbed jerk. But, since being self-absorbed is what blogs are all about, I really don't have much of a choice...

Megan and I woke up the Friday before Nate and Katie's wedding at around o'dark thirty, or maybe it was closer to 4:00 AM... Whatever the case we made our way to the airport in Orlando and were sat waiting for our plane shortly after 6:00 AM. Sleep deprivation tends to make me antsy, as once I sit still my body realizes how tired it really is. So, I walked the concourse and perused the magazines where I found that the news vendor carried Uncut. I was impressed, and was about to purchase a copy when the cashier announced that the credit card machine was down. Since I was out of cash I wandered over to Seattle's Best and bought a latte. When I walked past the news vendor again, I noticed that not only was the credit card machine now working, but they had just replaced the issue of Uncut that I first saw with Kurt Cobain on the cover, with the most recent, hot-off-the presses issue. On the cover? Oasis. Now, you might wonder why I related to you, the reader, such a long aside. Well, simply put, it's because this was obviously a sign. A sign from on high, that God, Fate, Yahweh, whatever, was not only smiling on me, but would smile upon the forthcoming nuptials. I'm serious. If Jesus could turn water into wine, why couldn't some higher power turn Cobain into Oasis? Truly, I had witnessed a miracle.

When I returned to the pre-boarding area, I found Megan deep in conversation with a woman from Florence, Alabama. Since our flight was taking us into Birmingham, it was truly a stroke of luck, especially since the woman gave Megan detailed directions on getting from Birmingham to Florence. What made the encounter so lucky? Well, as we would soon discover, the directions Megan got from Google Maps sucked. Again. After we picked up our luxury sedan rental car (hey, they upgraded us for free! By the way, what do suppose happens if you rent a luxury sedan in the first place and they upgrade you? It's too bad I'll never find out...) we tried following Google Maps convoluted directions and ended up on the wrong side of Birmingham. Now, I don't know if Birmingham even has a right side, but let me tell you, we sure as hell weren't in it. Oh, and did I mention we were in a LUXURY SEDAN? Needless to say, I was not getting out to ask anyone for directions. We ultimately made it back on the interstate without incident, and I set my sights on the one place I wanted to go more than anywhere else on our trip: Waffle House.

After passing many Waffle Houses on the way to Florence, I was itching for my fix, but Megan wasn't in the mood for greasy, maple syrup-flavored love. After some debate we finally settled on Taco Bell. We pulled off of the interstate into the Taco Bell parking lot and directly behind it, as if placed there specifically for me, stood a Waffle House in all it's glory. Megan and split up for lunch and she got her fix and I got mine. The day was back on track.

The woman from the airport's directions got us to our hotel in Florence with no problems. Once there we met up with our friends also coming in from out of town. We hung out for a while, then Megan went to our room to relax while Nick and I picked up our tuxes. That errand out of the way, we returned to the hotel to get ready for the rehearsal and the subsequent rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal turned out to be a bit of a fiasco, as the minister didn't seem to have a clear idea of what he was supposed to be doing, let alone me or my fellow groomsmen. The wedding coordinator at one point had us walk down the aisle single file, after the bridesmaids had done the same. This seemed really strange to me, as I had always seen the groomsmen escort the bridesmaids down the aisle, not follow them. Never one to want to ruin somebody's wedding, I asked Nate if we shouldn't run through it again, and he shrugged and said "Nah." That ended up being something of a mistake...

After the rehearsal, Nick, Max, and I all rode back from the church to the hotel together. In the car Nick asked us if he'd told us about how Nate asked him to be Best Man. When Max and I replied that he hadn't, Nick says, "It was 5 minutes ago when the minister said where the Best Man was supposed to stand and Nate said 'I guess that's you Best Man'." Classic.

The rehearsal dinner was a nice affair, and it was great to finally get to meet Nate's dad and stepmom. Katie's family seemed pretty great, too, and they did a terrific job of making all of us from out of town feel welcome. There were Polaroid cameras for us to play around with and Max I spent most of our time at the head table screwing around taking pictures, experimenting on the Polaroid emulsion, and making "witty" comments on the photos. After the dinner, we made our way back to the hotel bar and hung out until we were asked to leave after I brought beer from our room out onto the patio. Megan went to bed, and I ended up staying up late with Nick, Zach, and Christine trying unsuccessfully to help Nick with his Best Man speech.

The next morning was a bit rough, not because I was hung over or anything, but because I had gotten so little rest the entire week (especially the night before) and it was beginning to catch up with me. Max and I drove Nate to the reception site where we waited for someone to tell us what to do. With wedding time fast approaching, we decided we were done waiting and made our way to the church with the rest of the groomsmen in tow. We arrived, apparently, not a moment too soon, as the videographer and Katie's dad started in on Nate almost immediately. To be fair, Katie's dad mostly seemed to just be giving Nate a hard time, whereas the videographer seemed to be having an aneurysm. Whoops. We were all taken into the church through the back into a small room where the minister had us all join hands and pray. He then, rather nonchalantly, led us out of the room through a small door. Much to my chagrin, that door led us into the front of the sanctuary. I'd just like to take a moment right here to thank the minister for the head's up.

Now, this was NOT what we rehearsed. the groomsmen weren't even in any sort of order. Luckily, Nick had been first to follow Nate out, and even he later told me that he thought they were just going into another room and was surprised when we walked out to see everyone seated for the wedding looking at us. Now, I was right behind Nick and I froze. I had no idea what to do, since again, this was NOT what we rehearsed. My brain was stuck trying to decide whether I should turn around, keep following Nick, or walk up the side aisle so we could come down the center aisle like we HAD rehearsed. Yeah, that last one would have looked really, really, really, really stupid, I know, but hey I was panicking. Just as my brain unfroze, and I started to turn back to ask the person behind me what to do, I got stiff-armed in my back and shoved towards the alter. It was Max, and he had once again saved my ass, by giving it a much-needed kick.

The rest of the wedding went much smoother, with one exception. When the minister told everyone that they could be seated, none of the bridesmaids or groomsmen knew what to do (This is why I take exception to Katie saying that the groomsmen just weren't paying attention at the rehearsal). Since Nick, being the Best Man was now up at the alter with Katie and Nate, I was now at the head of the groomsmen and they were all following my lead. Trying once again not to panic, I looked across the aisle at the bridesmaids, only to see that they were all leaning forward trying to see what we were doing. Deciding to take the lead on this one, lest I get shoved once again, I began sit down as slowly as possible. By that I mean, I sort of did this half crouch thing and ever so slowly turned to sit, all the while keeping my eye on the minister for some sort of sign as to whether or not I was following the proper protocol. If anyone was paying attention, they probably thought I had hemorrhoids or something, but really I was trying to put myself in a position where I could jump back up at a moments notice. I would have felt all the more silly had I not noticed that all of the bridesmaids were mimicking my ridiculous movements. As it happened, however, it was the right call and I was finally able to relax and stop worrying about screwing things up any further.

The wedding itself, of course, was beautiful. The ceremony was presided over by the aforementioned minister and a catholic priest. Nate had been nervous the entire weekend, and I could see him finally relax and get lost in the moment. Katie made for a beautiful and graceful bride and seeing their mutual happiness as they exchanged vows left me a little misty eyed. The whole experience left me even more upset that Nate's mom couldn't be there to share in the moment. I know it's a strange thing to say, but I got to see a side of Nate that day that I had never seen before and he made me proud. Proud not only for him and Katie, but proud that those of us from back home could be there for him. It felt, to me at least, that we had moved from being friends to being sort of family. That sort of thing doesn't happen every day, and it made the wedding all the more special.

After the wedding we moved on to the reception which was over in record time. During the short time spent at the reception, I managed to eat about 3 lbs. of cheese and was left somewhat bemused by the wedding band's choice to play Ryan Adams' "Come Pick Me Up." Turns out after hearing the band's version of the Jayhawks' "Tampa To Tulsa," Megan was encouraged to ask them to play something "appropriate" from the Ryan Adams catalogue. Now, I love me some Ryan Adams, but of any song that could be deemed appropriate for a wedding reception, the lyrics of "Come Pick Me Up" put it near the very bottom of the list (somewhere just below TLC's "Creep" and just above Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me.") After the reception, Nate and Katie had a dinner for the wedding party and assorted other out of town guests at a local Italian restaurant called Ricatoni's. It was a good time and the highlight came when Nick finally got deliver his Best Man speech. After we all had our fill of pizza, pasta, and alcohol, most of us called it a night. Some of the more adventurous among us made their way to a bar called Big Ed's, but Megan and I were too exhausted. It sounds like Big Ed's was quite an experience, and I'm truly sorry to have missed out. But knowing my luck, it sounds like I probably would have also gotten arrested, so it's probably a good thing that Megan and I just went to bed.

The next morning Megan and I had brunch with Tim and Shanna and afterwards began our long journey back home. In all, it was a great weekend and the best possible way to end our vacation. As much fun as we had, however, Megan and I were definitely looking forward to getting back home and, ironically since we were just on vacation, getting some much needed down time. After all, we needed to be back on top of our game for our next wedding the following weekend.